:D

had training today and i'm damn tired. ):

feeling the emoness in me once again.
shit.

i'm tired of running away but it always seems to be the easier way out in fact i enjoy every moment of it but then it never solves anything i hate facing up to reality i hated it because it's always so fucking painful i dread waking up every morning to have to live through the day without you someone please tell me why does it hurt so much i dont want to move on because it's so damn hard and i'm tired of all these shit it doesn't make me feel any better it just make me feel even worse i have no idea why i'm blabbering all these nonsense but i just felt like it the whole point is that i'm feeling really fucked up right now and i miss you so freaking much won't this feeling of missing you lessen any i just can't stop thinking of you the more i try to sort things out the more the tears come the memories spread into different memories through the tears that i shed it makes me cry so painfully all i can do is to regret because all i ever did was receive i'm afraid you'll forget me because i've never given you anything i still love you no matter how hard i tried not to my heart just doesn't listen sigh what should i do now i just want to lock myself in the room stare at mr wall and be depressed forever i'd rather stay this way every single day i'm waiting for a miracle to happen waiting that you will by chance come back to me if i could go back i'd gather my heart i'd take everything from it and give it to you if only i have that chance but will you even know no you won't you'll never know how i feel because i doubt you'd even care i know i'm probably not the one for you anymore and that hurts

i'm torn and i'm loving every minute of being hurt.

being emo is good because it's the only time i feel the real me.